Big Love

“And if you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.” Dua Lipa

So many new rules! New rules of parenting alone, dating, budgeting; the world is anew in many ways. Every day we can make our own rules, but how often do we take the time to really set them out? And if we do, will there be enough willpower left over at the end of the day to keep to them?

Dua Lipa has a song called New Rules where she sets some limits for herself with a man who is no good. She loves him but she believes he does not love her. Hence needing rules.

I know I need to set some New Rules. What a pop song taught me:

“One. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling ’cause he’s drunk and alone.” (This is the first rule in the song.) My first rule is to be around kind and happy people. Toxic relationships are out. Relationships that leave me drained or stressed, done. Even ones that seem neutral but in my gut feel like they have run their course, au revoir. Little zingers from old married friends, no time. Not being seen by colleagues, no. I acknowledge that there will be ups and downs in any relationship, however, the down need not be an endless free fall. Nope.

“Two. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.” (New Rules second rule.) My second rule is about booting overdoing things and trying to take on the world by myself. It is time to prioritize rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Without health, what is there for me to give? Where to start. Vitamins? A daily walk? A set bedtime?

“Three: Don’t be his friend. You know you’re going to wake up in his bed in the morning. And if you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.” (The song’s third rule). My third rule, no work outside of work. I’m not getting compensated for it or any other reward for giving away my time. Let’s quietly quit this habit.

Thank you Dua Lipa for your beautiful voice and a kick ass reminder to make and use rules that work for us.