Big Love

Thict Nat Han on the subject of love

When I get in my head, spinning or just future planning, I will use an association to return to the moment. This includes wiggling my big toes. Noticing the chair that holds the weight of my body. And observing the temperature and smell of the air as I exhale through my nose.

Be Present.

The practice of mindfulness addresses the mind and aids in helping with connection to the present moment.

Fortunately for me, there are those who have rich teachings on love – what it is and is not, how to do it, and how to receive. On my journey of healing, rebuilding, and one day connecting with another, I discovered a book that was both elegantly simple and helpful, written by a Buddhist monk, called How to Love.

Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh turned his teachings into short books: How to Wash the Dishes, How to Sit, How to Love (to list a few). https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh

Who is Thich Nhat Hanh (1926 – 2022)?

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh is a global spiritual leader, poet and peace activist, revered around the world for his pioneering teachings on mindfulness, global ethics and peace. (Plum Village)

When I discovered his book of short teachings, there was a sense of relief coupled with interest. Having clear guidelines on how to love was akin to finding a road map on an unmarked road. I felt less lost, more clear. https://www.parallax.org/product/how-to-love/. Below, some excerpts.

“Every one of us is trying to find our true home. Some of us are still searching. Our true home is inside, but it’s also in our loved ones around us. When you’re in a loving relationship, you and the other person can be a true home for each other.”

“The roots of a lasting relationship are mindfulness, deep listening and loving speech, and a strong community to support you.”

“Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person.”

“True love gives us beauty, freshness, solidity, freedom, and peace. True love includes a feeling of deep joy that we are alive. If we don’t feel this way when we feel love, then it’s not true love.”

“May I be peaceful, happy, and light in body and spirit. May I be safe and free from injury. May I be free from anger, afflictions, fear, and anxiety…”