Big Love

Acts to guide a new year

The secret of change is to focus your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

Socrates

Five New Acts for the New Year:

1. Pay your bills with love
2. Self care as a gift to the world
3. Make your bed every morning
4. Take responsibility for your emotions
5. Don’t wait

1. Pay your bills with love

I was paying my rent recently when I recalled an affirmation to pay your bills with love. I believe it was Louise Hay, who said this, and noted that doing so was a method of connecting with money in a positive manner. As a single mother in the Bay Area, paying rent each month is something to be proud of and I am thankful each night for my beautiful home and for providing for me and my children. Being able to live independently, to regroup after a many years relationship, in my own space is priceless. I am grateful each month for this “bill.”

It is essential that we stop worrying about money and stop resenting our bills. Many people treat bills as punishments to be avoided if possible. A bill is an acknowledgment of our ability to pay. The creditor assumes you are affluent enough and gives you the service or the product first. I bless with love each and every bill that comes into my home. I bless with love and stamp a small kiss on each and every check I write. If you pay with resentment, money has a hard time coming back to you. If you pay with love and joy, you open the free-flowing channel of abundance. Treat your money as a friend, not as something you wad up and crush into your pocket.

Louise Hay, “Love Your Bills”

2. Self care as a gift to the world

I read a book on being a woman and in the book a passage on self care struck me as life advice often missing. It said that the most sexy thing a woman could do was to take care of herself, to nourish herself and participate in acts that better allowed her to show up in the world. I believe this to be true for all genders. Sometimes the idea of self care is that of a spa day, or a home face mask and yes, these acts can be self care. So too, is saying no to extra obligations, or to prioritizing calm and peace in the home.

3. Make your bed every morning

U.S. Navy Retired Admiral William McRaven wrote a book titled Make your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World (2017). He begins by describing how when he was training to become a Navy Seal he had a daily morning inspection. His uniform was inspected with the expectation that the buttons were shiny enough to see one’s self in. Then the bed was inspected by an unusual means. A coin was flipped high into the air and then dropped onto the bed. A well-made bed would allow the coin to bounce high enough in the air for the inspecting officer to catch it. It was the first task of the day for McRaven to accomplish, and he believed that it set in motion a successful day.

4. Take responsibility for your actions

Life brings about many different experiences and many of them can trigger various flight-fight-freeze-or fawn responses. But in each moment, there is a choice. Should I respond with a yell? Should I cry? Should I step outside and count to ten? Naming emotions is often a first step in allowing them and in taking responsibility for them. This also means not lashing out at those nearby or making assumptions about the intentions of others.

Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, author, and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh describes this as “My actions are my only true belongings,” and “We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.”

5. Don’t wait

Plan for the worst but expect the best. Some things in life can happen whenever you like while others require planning. Life is also what happens when we are busy making plans. The point is, no one is going to make your dreams a reality for you, no one is going to love for you. Only you can feel the rain, take the trip, give the kiss, or write the letter.

When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to live…

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations