Big Love

What do you want your future lover to smell like?

There is a couple that I admire. My friend has been in this relationship for over a decade.

How did you meet? Who asked who out?

She told me that it started before she met him. She sat quietly and thought about what she wanted her future partner to smell like. What his laugh would be like. She used Pinterest to create an inspo board for men she found attractive. She was taking care of herself and feeling healthy, happy, and hot.

She was calling it in, before it came.

This could be laughed off. But because I want to find an equally successful partnership, I didn’t laugh. I leaned. In.

I want my future lover to smell like earth, twigs, grass, pine, sunlight, rosemary, and light musk. His laugh to be deep and easy, with eye crinkles at the corners. And his hug to feel like home, encompassing, strong, and grounded. My inspo board on Pinterest has been made. I’m starting to take care of myself and am feeling happier, healthier and hotter. Still working on this though.

Sometimes a dream comes to me and in the dream a man I have feelings for hugs me. The hug gives me a deep feeling of connection, belonging, and security. In essence, of home. Usually the feeling stays with me for a day or so. I used to feel haunted by these dreams, as they recur here and there, over years. But now I see them as a clue to listen to. To settle for nothing less than the feeling of my dream hug. Sounds strange, even to me. But my compass does need reorientation to the feeling of home as true north.

The best smell in the world is that man that you love.

Jennifer Anniston

Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived.

Helen Keller