Big Love

And other why not? actions for love

Getting back on the horse of relationship requires some dusting off, some adjusting of the reins, and an unstoppable attitude. Recently I decided to put my chips all in for love. I am embracing the opportunities to be ready.

HUMOR

I wanted a light-hearted pep in my step. I wanted to laugh easily. Humor is something that I turn to when I need a smile or a laugh. Some laughs are courtesy of comedian Jim Gaffigan, The Daily Show clips, New Yorker cartoons, as well as And Just Like That episodes. Or a favorite fridge magnet that shows a woman outside and reads “If one door closes and another one opens, your house is haunted and you need to run.”

FENG SHUI

I am a fan of Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese art of energy and flow. I enjoy recommendations from Marie Diamond, https://www.mariediamond.com/, who bills herself as “your Feng Shui expert” on Instagram.

She shared that to invite love into your life you need to make room for it. In the physical sense, she recommended emptying both a drawer in a chest of drawers and clearing space in the closet. She suggested placing an object of what you want in the empty drawer to act as symbolic attraction. I did this and placed some lavender and the lovers tarot card in the drawer. The closet has space. I also emptied a drawer in the bathroom and purchased an extra bath towel.

ART

Curating a space to welcome love means looking and thinking carefully about the art that is in your space. Author Karen Kingston shared a story about a single woman who was lonely. On closer examination, much of her art showed a lone, and lonely, figure. (The woman removed the art and things fell into place!) What subconscious symbolism is desired in a space? What imagery hangs above the bed? Is every item a single item, or are there pairs? I recently brought in a few pairs – some foo dog antiques and some large shells. Above the bed is a painting that I love and is peaceful.

ROMANTIC LAYERING

In addition to the above, there are other ways to add a romantic mood to the bedroom. Aiming to address the senses is important and this can be done by bringing in mood lighting, candles, flowers, and using textiles. I added in some flameless candles, a velvet coverlet, soft pillows, and lavender spray. I also use the most comfortable linen bedding from Coyuchi, https://www.coyuchi.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoqg0__eERVzpiNC9frKee5IJZrk3vzFrXKLHEgmw1LfgSwaw9tB.

UNSEEN

Having items on hand that enable a safe connection, which include safe sex necessities. Staying on top of clutter, dirty laundry, and having a clean space are top of the list for me.

DON’TS

For example, having an inviting space can mean, no cactus (Diamond recommends no plants in the bedroom), no family or kid photos, no bed against the wall because entry is needed from both sides of the bed. Don’t have only one bedside table, or lamp. Don’t have a red bedroom.

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.” – Nicholas Sparks

Overall, this is something I am cultivating, from love cures to a love mood – I find myself taking notes and doing a little research. From an image in Architectural Digest that I collect, or building a mood-board on Pinterest of spaces I am drawn to.

On my wish list…A night garden with white, scented plants that glow in the moonlight with a bubbling fountain. A four poster bed with fabric that envelops you. A silk robe. A cashmere blanket for the bed.