Big Love

Celebrate, don’t denigrate, the power of being a woman

“Why can’t you be better at xyz, like all the men I know?”

My ex asked me this often, and I didn’t have an answer. Which bothered him more, because his friends would have.

Usually the xyz was about communication. Why couldn’t I communicate like a man? The answer seemed obvious to me. I was not a man. But that didn’t stop me, because I wanted to grow, to improve, and show my partner at the time that I was all in.

This led me to taking a paid course called “How to communicate so that men will understand,” and it mostly centered around understanding men. Allison Armstrong has a number of workshops in person and online that focus to help men and women have healthy relationships. http://www.alisonarmstrong.com

I learned my main communication flaw was adding in too much detail to a story or conversation and that for men to take it in I should work to streamline the details of who, what, when, where, why, and how. It seemed a bit ridiculous but worth experimenting with. However, my progress was halted when it was made clear that my partner was not interested in understanding women.

Fast Forward to the present…I’m single, I’m searching for my new understanding of what it means to be a woman, someone feminine, sensual, soft, beautiful. The challenge was vast, as survival had hidden these qualities from both myself and the world.

Looking for furniture on Craigslist to replace all that I had left behind, I came across a beautiful statue of a female body in the Greek style. The naked feminine form, from neck to mid thigh, was carved from stone or made to look so. I was drawn to the symbol of femininity – the statue was of Aphrodite. I bought it and brought it home to serve as my symbol of a feminine woman.

Aphrodite was an Ancient Greek Goddess who represents love, lust, beauty, passion, and procreation (Wikipedia). Perfect.

I also happened on a book The Art of Being a Woman: A Simple Guide to Love and Laughter by Veronique Vienne, which I read to wash an old story away. I pondered what does it mean to be a woman? At moments I thought, I am a woman, therefore I must know all that the art of actually being a woman is. But I found that the answer was both yes and no.

One of the more memorable parts of this book likened self care as the most sexy thing one could do. And I have thought of that often, both when I am practicing care of the self and when I fall short. Reading the book reminded me of the gifts of being a woman and also of the different aspects of life that make life full and rich and beautiful.

Taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.

Rosalind Russell

The thing women have yet to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Roseanne Barr