Big Love

Do we really only get one shot at a connection?

Some believe that there is a tiny red thread that connects us to all those who we are meant to meet in our lives. Living with this belief would allow space for multiple opportunities to meet someone, as it is preordained through the connection.

“An invisible red thread connects those who are meant to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but may never break.”

Chinese proverb

Recently I was out when something, ok – someone, got my attention. It was like a magnetic pull to notice a man I had never seen before. There was something about him, a calm, masculine, embodied presence that I just wanted to take in. He was also tall, dark, and handsome. I was at the grocery store. And after a moment, I tried to regain focus and get back to the task at hand. I was a little embarrassed by myself in fact and chalked it up to some sort of desperation.

I took my time, and tried to be calm and unaffected. But then he showed up behind me and was right there while I was checking out. That was nice, but I didn’t give hime any energy or attention, likely out of self preservation and lingering embarrassment. Then, I did take my time putting my things in the car, but I didn’t see him again.

Only when I was driving away did it occur to me that this man was a) very attractive and b) someone I wanted to meet. Sigh. I went back to the store the next day for some “items” (lame excuse here) and later reflected that my moment at meeting this stranger was lost.

OR WAS IT?

Cue the red thread of fate legend. If there is such a thing, it might not be just a missed connection.

Missed connections on Craigslist are one way to try to find someone, romantic or platonic, and are also in my opinion a symbol of hopeless romantic idealism. I have at times perused them more out of entertainment value than thinking I was ever a missed connection.

Some missed connections are funny, some are pathetic, and others are quite romantic. Usually though, they are plain sad. Take one I recently read: “Omfg, I just locked eyes with the most beautiful woman. My dream girl. I wanted to say more than good morning however the whole thing caught me off guard. I also had to be on duty in five minutes. You were short, white tank top and I believe a sweatshirt tied around your waste (I know, spelling) with jeans. You also had a smile I could look at forever. I deserve to have you see this. I been waiting so long. What was I wearing?”

Well, something tells me this person may be waiting a bit longer. “You had a smile I could look at forever” gets some points where “what was I wearing” loses points.

I decided to write my own missed connection and even posted it.

Perhaps my thread is merely tangled and needing some help to right itself.

What’s for you won’t go by you.

Scottish proverb

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.

Zora Neale Hurston