Big Love

Joining a dating app as the modern way to “connect” with a potential soulmate and prove something along the way

I joined a dating app. My primary aim was not love, the hookup, or making friends. Nope, I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

Something about creating a public profile that proclaimed my singleness and readiness to date and mate was almost too much to bare. And what if someone I actually know was to come across my profile? My mind was hard at work concocting terrifying scenarios. (Admittedly, one of which was, what if I meet someone?)

Who said do one thing that scares you everyday?

I set out to find an app that I thought was less likely anyone I knew or previously dated would join. I picked one after a truncated Google search, then I did the whole rigamarole only to find that I was number 41,000 on the waitlist for the free version. However, the next day I was accepted. Funny math aside, I had met this challenge. Or so I thought.

Next thing I knew, I was number 41,000 on the waitlist.

Quickly, the app was turning out to be a great daily source of entertainment and possibility. I was peering into an army of men ready to roll, or romp. I was ready for something to happen. But nothing did. The ironic twist of it all.

Was my stumbling block the fact that I had not joined with the clear purpose of finding love, connection, or dates? Ultimately, I didn’t mind. I realized if I wasn’t clear with what I want or am ready for, I likely wouldn’t find it yet. That’s okay too.