Big Love

Accepting is better than resisting

I recently changed my mailing address with the USPS. It took me longer than I will admit to do this. Why? Because I loved that address, that town, my memories living there. And now they are gone.

I moved and I’m working on moving on. Noticing where I am resistant has given me some opportunity for reflection. My address. Hmm. Interesting. Was it a final thread tying me to my old life? Or was it that I thought I was saving myself the hassle of updating all the businesses of my new address? Yes and yes. And I can see now that it was a part of my old identity that I was mourning but not quite ready to release.

Another thing I noticed was that my subconscious mind was worrying about my mail, my address, all of that, often. Sometimes in the middle of the night. I was remembering to remember to one day take a moment to change my address. It was taking me a lot of energy to ignore something so mundane.

My therapist spoke of the power of ritual. Perhaps it is time for me to find a releasing ritual, so that I can mark and really honor that, for example, it was more than just an address. And it will be ok. I’m thinking of something that Maisie Dobbs, the heroine of the Maisie Dobbs series by Jacqueline Winspear, calls a final accounting. At the end of a case (she is a detective) she visits all the people and places that were a part of the case as a way of honoring and concluding her work. Time for the ritual of a final accounting.